Have you ever had the feeling or found out you were being used? Out of nowhere you had a funny feeling in your stomach, your body felt warm and tingling and you felt like you had to throw up? I’m sure if you live on the planet Earth and are human at some point in your life you’ve used or been used by someone, it’s just never easy when you come to realize that you’re the one being used.
Lately it seems as if I’ve been hearing a lot of stories of people being used in so many different ways. A good example of this is the recent allegation against ex-football player Terrell Owens who’s ex wife claims that he only married her for her credit score. After she realized that he needed a quick come up so he can again began to live the lifestyle he once lived when he was a professional football player, she quickly filed for divorce. The reality is this happens and is happening all the time. It seems as if the roles are switching between men and women. Women are the ones being more responsible and keeping their finances and credit in order while a lot of men are looking for a come up and are only marrying and committing to relationships if there’s some type of benefit from it. Men use to be the bread winners but it seems as if the women are the bread winners these days and running the households financially. How do you protect yourself and know when someone really loves you compared to only wanting to be with you for a benefit?
Also, people are only befriending other people because of who they know or what they can do for them. See there’s a huge difference between networking and using. Networking means the benefit is mutual. Using requires deception and lies at some point and only one party benefits from the connection or the relationship while the other side receives the short end of the stick.
It’s hard to keep a genuine spirit and freely give love and trust when there are so many vultures waiting to suck the life out of their next victim and it could be you. So without being skeptical of everyone who breaths air, how does one find a happy medium? Have you ever been used or felt used by someone you cared about? If so, how did you handle it?
In 2004, Paul Haggis produced and directed the film Crash which is mainly about racial and social tensions in Los Angeles, CA. The film is also about how the lives of the characters in the film interweave with one another because of certain events that take place in their lives. I mention this film because sometimes you have to take a step back and wonder, what does it all mean?
Many times we cross paths with certain people in our lives and don’t realize how the connection we just made has a deeper meaning than what we see in front of us. On the surface it just seems as if we’ve met someone new and have common interests. If not that, sometimes it may just seem as if we’ve cross paths with someone because of a certain event, experience or circumstance. But what if we all played a small but key role in some stranger’s life before we even met them in the flesh and don’t know it? If we could all sit back and watch a movie called “My Life” I’m sure each and every one of us would be pleasantly surprised to see how the connections we made with certain people in our lives was already written and had deeper meanings to them than what we initially thought.
Personally speaking, I think about all the relationships in my life, current and past, friendships, partnerships, business connections, casual connections and romantic relationships and I always think about how did it start and why. I think about the significant role each person either played or is still playing in my life. I also wonder what does it mean for my future.
There’s a saying, “the longer you live and the older you get, the smaller your circle becomes”. This means that as you grow and become wiser and have more life experiences because of your age, the less friends you will have. The question is, does this saying necessarily apply to everyone’s life and do you really have to cut certain people off because it’s not meant for you to take them with you to your bright future ahead?
This saying may very well apply to certain people in your life that you cross paths with. If someone you are dating introduces you to another person so that you won’t be lonely in a city you just moved to, is it okay to become friends with this other person? Don’t you trust the person that you are dating, and expect that they have good judgement in the people they hang around? But on the other hand, what if you become very cool with this other individual that you have been introduced to only to find out later that the person you are dating had an intimate relationship with them before they introduce you both to each other? And may still be having one while you two are dating? Where do you draw the line at being too cool because obviously in a situation like this something has went very wrong????
Sometimes as you’re going through the motions of everyday life, life actually has a funny way of coming in and throwing you a curve ball. What if you’re in a relationship with someone that you don’t necessarily love and one day you meet another person that you have a strong attraction and connection to mentally, physically and emotionally? Would you just walk away from the relationship you’re already in even though it’s been a comfortable situation for the past few years? Or would you respect your current mate by staying and making the other person you just met strictly a friend? The problem is, if you make the other person strictly a friend, eventually if you keep spending time with this other individual feelings will get deeper and the relationship will gradually become more than friends. And if you leave your current situation, how do you know it would work out? Life is very uncertain and unpredictable and sometimes you have to just take a leap of faith and step outside of your comfort zone. What would you do?