Have you ever had the feeling or found out you were being used? Out of nowhere you had a funny feeling in your stomach, your body felt warm and tingling and you felt like you had to throw up? I’m sure if you live on the planet Earth and are human at some point in your life you’ve used or been used by someone, it’s just never easy when you come to realize that you’re the one being used.
Lately it seems as if I’ve been hearing a lot of stories of people being used in so many different ways. A good example of this is the recent allegation against ex-football player Terrell Owens who’s ex wife claims that he only married her for her credit score. After she realized that he needed a quick come up so he can again began to live the lifestyle he once lived when he was a professional football player, she quickly filed for divorce. The reality is this happens and is happening all the time. It seems as if the roles are switching between men and women. Women are the ones being more responsible and keeping their finances and credit in order while a lot of men are looking for a come up and are only marrying and committing to relationships if there’s some type of benefit from it. Men use to be the bread winners but it seems as if the women are the bread winners these days and running the households financially. How do you protect yourself and know when someone really loves you compared to only wanting to be with you for a benefit?
Also, people are only befriending other people because of who they know or what they can do for them. See there’s a huge difference between networking and using. Networking means the benefit is mutual. Using requires deception and lies at some point and only one party benefits from the connection or the relationship while the other side receives the short end of the stick.
It’s hard to keep a genuine spirit and freely give love and trust when there are so many vultures waiting to suck the life out of their next victim and it could be you. So without being skeptical of everyone who breaths air, how does one find a happy medium? Have you ever been used or felt used by someone you cared about? If so, how did you handle it?
Actress Meagan Good and husband DeVon Franklin are in the process of writing a relationship book entitled “The Wait”. It has an early release date of 2014 and the book is centered around Meagan and DeVon’s Christian faith and their decision to practice abstinence until they were married. Before Devon met Meagan he was celibate for 10 years and Meagan was celibate for a few months. In the book, Meagan talks about how from the moment she met DeVon she knew he was her husband. She also explains how she prayed about him and some other issues that God was dealing with her with.
In the world we live in right now you don’t see something like this being publicized all so often and more so you don’t hear people 35 and younger talking about saving themselves until marriage. Everything on the television, magazines and music is mostly about sex and how little clothes women and men can wear. There aren’t many people in entertainment encouraging their peers or people in the younger generation to cover up their bodies, stay classy, respect women and save themselves for marriage. No matter your background and no matter what you have done in the past, is it really possible to live a celibate lifestyle before marriage?
There’s a saying, “the longer you live and the older you get, the smaller your circle becomes”. This means that as you grow and become wiser and have more life experiences because of your age, the less friends you will have. The question is, does this saying necessarily apply to everyone’s life and do you really have to cut certain people off because it’s not meant for you to take them with you to your bright future ahead?
This saying may very well apply to certain people in your life that you cross paths with. If someone you are dating introduces you to another person so that you won’t be lonely in a city you just moved to, is it okay to become friends with this other person? Don’t you trust the person that you are dating, and expect that they have good judgement in the people they hang around? But on the other hand, what if you become very cool with this other individual that you have been introduced to only to find out later that the person you are dating had an intimate relationship with them before they introduce you both to each other? And may still be having one while you two are dating? Where do you draw the line at being too cool because obviously in a situation like this something has went very wrong????