Have you ever had the feeling or found out you were being used? Out of nowhere you had a funny feeling in your stomach, your body felt warm and tingling and you felt like you had to throw up? I’m sure if you live on the planet Earth and are human at some point in your life you’ve used or been used by someone, it’s just never easy when you come to realize that you’re the one being used.
Lately it seems as if I’ve been hearing a lot of stories of people being used in so many different ways. A good example of this is the recent allegation against ex-football player Terrell Owens who’s ex wife claims that he only married her for her credit score. After she realized that he needed a quick come up so he can again began to live the lifestyle he once lived when he was a professional football player, she quickly filed for divorce. The reality is this happens and is happening all the time. It seems as if the roles are switching between men and women. Women are the ones being more responsible and keeping their finances and credit in order while a lot of men are looking for a come up and are only marrying and committing to relationships if there’s some type of benefit from it. Men use to be the bread winners but it seems as if the women are the bread winners these days and running the households financially. How do you protect yourself and know when someone really loves you compared to only wanting to be with you for a benefit?
Also, people are only befriending other people because of who they know or what they can do for them. See there’s a huge difference between networking and using. Networking means the benefit is mutual. Using requires deception and lies at some point and only one party benefits from the connection or the relationship while the other side receives the short end of the stick.
It’s hard to keep a genuine spirit and freely give love and trust when there are so many vultures waiting to suck the life out of their next victim and it could be you. So without being skeptical of everyone who breaths air, how does one find a happy medium? Have you ever been used or felt used by someone you cared about? If so, how did you handle it?
For 6 months in 2012 and the beginning of 2013, I worked as a Financial Advisor for an awesome company named NestWise. Even though I didn’t stay there long because the company eventually went out of business, I learned so many things about myself and people during my time there. Also, being with that company made me grow out of my comfort zone tremendously because I was embarking on a career path that I’ve never tapped into. When I was first hired as a new advisor the Vice President gave me a deck of cards that had all these different values written on each card. Examples of what was written on each card were words like: Family, Love, Money, Financial Security, Charity, Freedom, Happiness, etc. He told us to narrow what we value most down to five cards; this exercise was a little hard to me and my colleagues because we felt like all the cards were a value of ours. At the end of the exercise, my VP explained to us that we need to live in alignment on an everyday basis to what we value the most and whatever it is we want most from life. I’ll never forget that exercise we did in the conference room that day and I’ve been trying to keep that as the forefront of my life ever since.
This morning I was having a conversation with a friend of mine I’ve known for the past 6 years and after we hung up I realized I’m going to delete his number and never pick up his calls again. I’m at a point in my life where I only want to surround myself with people that are on the same page as I am as far as wanting to take my life to another level. I really don’t have time for people that say one thing but do another. How can you say you want success but you in the clubs every night? What exactly are you celebrating if you can’t even afford to buy a drink in the club you are partying in? How can you say you’re looking for a wife but in the same breath say you don’t have time to date? I’m guessing a genie will cross their arms, blink twice and a wife will appear in front of you. Yup that’s it!! I’m sure he’s not the only person that wants one thing out of life but is doing the total opposite or nothing at all to get it. I see and hear many people that think their living in alignment with their goals but actually are far from it. I’m not the perfect angel but the first step in living in alignment with your values and goals is taking a step back and doing some self-evaluation. Once that step has been taken, you can then start to live within your truth and take the necessary steps towards living in alignment with everything you value most.
Sometimes as you’re going through the motions of everyday life, life actually has a funny way of coming in and throwing you a curve ball. What if you’re in a relationship with someone that you don’t necessarily love and one day you meet another person that you have a strong attraction and connection to mentally, physically and emotionally? Would you just walk away from the relationship you’re already in even though it’s been a comfortable situation for the past few years? Or would you respect your current mate by staying and making the other person you just met strictly a friend? The problem is, if you make the other person strictly a friend, eventually if you keep spending time with this other individual feelings will get deeper and the relationship will gradually become more than friends. And if you leave your current situation, how do you know it would work out? Life is very uncertain and unpredictable and sometimes you have to just take a leap of faith and step outside of your comfort zone. What would you do?