Is it possible to be “in love” with two people at the same time?

by: Dominique Wilson

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I recently was having a conversation with a friend of mine and he was telling me that he was torn between two women that he was dating at the same time. The first woman he was dating her first and they have history together. The second woman he met a couple of years later but he didn’t know he would fall so hard for her. Neither one of them have any idea about the other but he feels like soon they will find out about each other and he’s going to have to make a decision. I told him “well just pick the one you’re in love with” and his response was “I’m in love with them both”. That lead me to wonder…..is it really possible to be “in love” with two people at the same time?

I was so shocked by his answer that I immediately started to ask everyone I know about this topic. I asked ten men and they all answered “yes”. I asked ten women and each woman gave me a different answer. I concluded that most people feel as if you can love one person and be “in love” with another but you can’t be “in love” with two people at the same time. It seems as if what happens to most people is you’re dating someone and because of time, history, creating memories together and living life you eventually become comfortable and love the person you chose to be with. Then one day you actually meet your soul mate and fall “in love” but since you’re already in a relationship it’s hard to distinguish the two. I’ve been told that most people miss out on their one true love because they don’t take the opportunity to be with them given they’re already in a comfortable situation and people confuse “loving someone” with being “in love” with someone. Others, are lucky enough to meet their soulmate or one true love while they’re single and they get to live happily with this person. I believe if you’re truly in love with the first person you’re with you wouldn’t have went looking for the second person that came along. More importantly, you wouldn’t have gone so far as to fall in love with them. Has this ever happened to you? Do you believe you can fall “in love” with two people at the same time? If so, how?

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5 thoughts on “Is it possible to be “in love” with two people at the same time?

  1. This post is a tough one in the world we live in. Married men and men in relationships are an ideal “catch” for virtue- less women and it’s caused the decline of substantial relationships. It also, in my opinion, has led to more attached men looking for a good time outside of their relationship. The issue is that if neither of these women know of each other then this has the potential to destroy both of them. No one likes to have their emotions toyed with, especially the men that seem to find joy in doing just that. We’ve moved so far from having God in our relationships that we don’t realize the enemy himself is in bed with us. Imagine if these were uninformed women and they didn’t protect themselves while engaging in relationships with this creep? Two pregnant women has to be the last thing any two timer would want. Back to the original question, absolutely not. You can’t care about either one of those poor women or yourself. Tell that young man (he has to be young and immature) not to ruin those young ladies lives and let them both go on and add positivity to their lives.

  2. I feel you can love one and be in love with the other. Most ppl fall in love with a, b, & c about one person, but loves d, e, & f about the next. You can love somebody because of time and comfort, but u arent necessarily in love anymore. You may have been in love at first, but its easy to fall out of love. You can meet someone new and fall head over heels in love with them and still love a, b, & c about ur boyfriend/girlfriend because thats what youve known for so long. Its not right but I feel in my opinion, that it is possible.

  3. My cousin and i just had this conversation. See I’m a more established, happily married, man and he a young cat and the difference is in the meaning. Young people don’t understand what true love is or what it feels like or even what it takes to find it and keep it. Not saying this guy and these young ladies don’t care for one another but true love is not something you come across twice in your life like that. This guy is more than likely like my cousin, a young guy that likes the physicality of a woman instead of her traits that actually mean something. If this guy truly cared about either woman, he would make her his wife and not continue to look for other women to share his bed. Just an older man’s perspective, God bless.

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